Mottern Man
03-26-2007, 10:25 PM
>Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
>are getting dead?
>
>Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
>is not enough money?
>
>Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars,
>but check when you say the paint is wet?
>
>Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
>
>Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>
>Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
throw
>a revolver at him?
>
>Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
>
>Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
>
>If people
>evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
>
>Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles
are
>always white?
>
>Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
>
>Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
>something new to eat will have materialized?
>
>Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
>vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
>down to give the vacuum one more chance?
>
>Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first
try?
>
>How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
>
>When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
>shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
>right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot?"
>
>Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
>off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
>
>In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
>when we complained about the heat?
>
>How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
>
>And my FAVORITE......
>The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
>suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of yo ur three best
>friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
>
>are getting dead?
>
>Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
>is not enough money?
>
>Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars,
>but check when you say the paint is wet?
>
>Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
>
>Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>
>Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
throw
>a revolver at him?
>
>Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
>
>Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
>
>If people
>evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
>
>Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles
are
>always white?
>
>Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
>
>Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
>something new to eat will have materialized?
>
>Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
>vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
>down to give the vacuum one more chance?
>
>Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first
try?
>
>How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
>
>When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
>shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
>right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot?"
>
>Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
>off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
>
>In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
>when we complained about the heat?
>
>How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
>
>And my FAVORITE......
>The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
>suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of yo ur three best
>friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
>