Michael
04-13-2008, 11:32 AM
Hello, and thank you for calling. Please select from the following options:
• If you are obsessive- compulsive, Press 1 repeatedly.
• If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to Press 2 for you.
• If you have multiple personalities, Press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
• If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Please stay on the line so we can trace your call.
• If you are delusional, Press 7, and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
• If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
• If you are dyslexic, Press 9696969696969696.
• If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
• If you have short-term memory loss, Press 9.
• If you have short-term memory loss, Press 9.
• If you have short-term memory loss, Press 9.
• If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
• If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
• If you are blond, don't press any buttons; you'll just mess it up.
• If you are obsessive- compulsive, Press 1 repeatedly.
• If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to Press 2 for you.
• If you have multiple personalities, Press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
• If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Please stay on the line so we can trace your call.
• If you are delusional, Press 7, and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
• If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
• If you are dyslexic, Press 9696969696969696.
• If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
• If you have short-term memory loss, Press 9.
• If you have short-term memory loss, Press 9.
• If you have short-term memory loss, Press 9.
• If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
• If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
• If you are blond, don't press any buttons; you'll just mess it up.